It’s been one year today that I decided to become nicotine free. I quit cigarettes a good million times (unsuccessfully) before then. The difference: I didn’t quit cigarettes. I became nicotine free. Wording my friends, at least to a word junkie like me, is everything!
So much has happened since that courageous night I didn’t stop at the gas station on the way home and instead solemnly stared at my last 2 cigarettes as I crushed them and threw them away. I would need a book, or at least 20 more blog entries, to really tell the tale of the last year. For the sake of this entry however – and keeping a long-winded girl brief – I will focus on what helped me to not ruin everything and actually become one year nicotine free. – Keep Reading!>
The day I heard The Colbert Report was ending my heart cried –My heart had a full on melt down when Jon Stewart left Daily show but today we are talking about Mr. Colbert. Stephen Colbert changed television- he changed news. He successfully created an alter ego that embedded everything he DIDN’T believe in and used his character as a tool to show America how ignorant, hateful and straight ridiculous politics and people can be.
I remember seeing him have the most conservative, anti-equality guests on his show and how they would quiver in their seats. You could see the fear on their faces– not because Stephen was going to argue with them- -oh no– but because of the sarcastic and extreme nature of his character he would force the guests to face their own ugly truth. Repeating their words back to them but without the political correctness. He is a brave, comedic warrior who shined the light on the injustice and corrupt nature of politics in our country through humor and exaggerated sarcasm that no one could deny. – Keep Reading!>
April is National Poetry Month, and I can’t be happier to admit that I know that. Four months ago I wouldn’t have known there was a National Poetry Month, let alone know WHEN it was.
It was my eighth birthday when I realized I loved writing. Someone, (sorry awesome family member who gave me this life changing gift but this was before I realized how important it was to document such things) gave me a tiny diary with a little lock. It was the invisible friend I always wanted. I wrote everything in my diaries (technically after age 10 I never owned “diaries” only “journals”).
I wrote short stories, poems, rants, fantasies, dreams, my darkest moments, my sexiest moments, my highest moments. That first diary started my obsession with words. I was always shy, being the true baby sister hiding behind my siblings and cousins. Only my journals kept my true personality- my true feelings – my true self.
When I started college writing became something else entirely. I decided to take this passion that felt more like my alter ego, and try to perfect it as the A personality that I am. I took several creative writing classes, but it was my poetry class that became my first memorable college experience. I was surrounded by peers who had such pride in their writing. They wrote as poets. I only wrote as a way to stay sane. I found my voice, my art, in that class. I made my first college friends, mostly pot heads who could recite Shakespeare and knew all the hottest spoken word poets of the time. They were obsessed with Def Poetry Jam and drunken writing games, and so was I. – Keep Reading!>
Depression has so many faces and it lingers for no set amount of time. It may hit you for a few seconds, a few days, for some a few years. They say the human psyche is so fragile that the smallest change can alter it completely. So what happens when everything changes? When your entire base has come undone?
It’s been a year and 4 months since my life changed or since losing my father and then my grandmother only 3 weeks later. Every day after November 30, 2015 has been one long day. In this time, I’ve managed to quit 2 very promising yet overly stressful jobs making almost 70k a year and shooting up my career ladder faster than I could imagine. I quit my 23year love for smoking cigarettes. I gained about 25 pounds (which is a lot considering I was already a good 40lbs over weight to begin with). I got rid of my bachelorette pad and moved into a home with my pho-husband. I went from wild, independent, secure, 401-k having business woman- to an overly domesticated emotional mess.
Every day is a clean slate. Every morning that you open your eyes you have the freedom, no the RIGHT, to be whoever you want to be, no matter what that means. I’m not saying we should each wake up and change our names, leave our partners and live in a new country ever day— I mean that sounds exhausting and really expensive. No, I’m saying every day is a new chance to change SOMETHING, do SOMETHING, be SOMETHING—Anything you want.
This place or phase or stage or chapter in my life is all about a clean slate. I’m starting over from scratch. Everything in my life is changing, I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize who I am anymore. As scary as that sounds, I’m past the shock and tremor place of starting over. Instead I’m just fascinated to meet me! Keep on reading!
I’ve been living in Maryland now for over 20 years. Born and raised in Staten Island, NY moving to Maryland as a teenager was a true culture shock. Now that I’ve spent more than half my life here the shock has truly worn off. I’ll always love New York and the amazing culture that only a true city can provide. But I have to say, the beauty that I found in Maryland stole my heart completely.
It’s been said theolder you are the harder it is to reinvent yourself. The whole “it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks” mentality. Well what if you aren’t reinventing yourself? What if you are just finally finding yourself? Hate to tell you but, the answer is still the same — it’s hella hard!
This year, for many reasons, I decided to take the leap. I decided to stop trying to fit into the mold that the world and I created for myself and was ready to find out who I really was. Fear is what drives all people over30 to NOT follow their gut. It’s completely understandable as well. I mean most folks over 30 (or in my case over 35) have created, or have started to create theadult foundation.That means you now have responsibilities that you can’t get out of and that will stop you from takingthe big risks– like starting your career over.Money and family are the biggest reasons of all. Having children, you are responsible for, a spouse, a parent, a mortgage, a car payment. This is adult life. The more responsibilities you take on the more you have to put yourself last. Keep on reading!
Starting a blog has been a dream of mine ever since the oversharing became the norm and blogs became the new “newsletter.” Why did I want to start a blog? Well like most people over 35 trying to ride the continuously changing wave of technology, politics, love, relationships and fashion; I basically have a rack of questions, opinions, and experiences that I’d like to share.